I don’t know if you’re like me, but I have this affinity for visualizing the future. And I mean I visualize something so much to the point where sometimes it feels like it’s already real.

I don’t know what it is about me, I’m just such a forward futuristic thinker. I need to tell you though – God has taught me time and time again to not do this. Looking back on my life, I feel like it has been a constant message to live in the moment.

I definitely struggle with living in the moment. In my career choice this was something I had to work on, whenever a new chapter seemed to be unfolding I needed to remember to slow down, to literally stop and smell the roses and not grow up too fast was a challenge for me.

I think the worst part of this for me is the anxiety that comes along with future thinking. I was reminded this week of Jesus’ sermon on the mount when I was reading the book of Matthew and he shares this – “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” Matthew 6:34. This really struck me this week as I’ve been just battling with so much future thinking and feeling my anxiety rise and rise and rise.

I am also so blessed to be surrounded by AMAZING women of the Lord. I can reach out to them and ask for prayer and I always have such relief the minute I decide to ask for help and for prayer. The best part is one of the ladies shared that she had been praying for me already and the two things that have been causing me so much grief were what she was already praying about. I mean, AMEN! Here I was starting to feel a little less connected to the Lord and having a hard time with the future and bam he smacks me in the face regarding his continued pursuit of me.

“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.”

Matthew 6:34

In my life, I have given my own self so much anxiety. If you’ve experienced this, you know that it consumes you and clouds you. You can feel physically ill; stomach pain, headaches, exhaustion, feeling “off”, etc. I feel like I’m writing this post for myself to look back and remember when inevitably I will put myself in similar situations. Hopefully if I remember these things in the future, I’ll put myself at ease and allow God the space to give me peace instead of getting tons of anxiety.

Examples of how God taught me this lesson

There are some distinct instances in my life that I remember God teaching me this lesson. I’m sure there have been MANY more times, but I don’t always remember everything.

The first instance that I can remember is when I was trying to get my driver’s license. This is one of those life events that you expect will happen, but doesn’t get handed to you and as much as it’s in your control to practice and prepare, it felt very out of my control. You didn’t know what the course they were taking you on was like, you didn’t know if it was a nice instructor, just felt out of my control and in the hands of the tester.

Long story short, I so much felt like I already had my driver’s license. I was feeling like a good and responsible driver, I drove a lot with my permit. I believed that I was a licensed driver, but I was not. So imagine my frustration when I failed 3 TIMES! All for silly things if I say so myself, but that’s neither here nor there haha.

Just imagine, could I have passed the first time if my anxiety wasn’t so high? Could I have been WAYY less frustrated after failing. Obviously after the first fail, I was way less worried about failing. I learned to wait. That is such an invaluable lesson. We need to wait until God says it’s time.

This has been true in so many other areas of my life! I waited for the RIGHT man in my life, I waited until God’s time for us to get engaged and married, and now I’m waiting until God says we are to have a child.

Just a little back story on my husband and myself, neither of us had had a relationship in high school or any dates (other than Lucas’ prom and ball date – doesn’t count haha), and we met each other in college. It was not obvious we were supposed to be together and we had a long bumpy start, but I am so thankful for that time – we had tons to sort through before we could be what we each needed.

So anyway, I’m not embarrassed to say my first kiss was at 19 years old. I’m not embarrassed because even though it was totally like everyone says a first kiss is – awkward haha!! It was with the right person and I married that man. I have no regrets.

I absolutely had the classic ring fever, anxiously awaiting my engagement. I waited longer than I thought, but it was absolutely perfection. We were both in the right place, getting engaged for all the correct reasons.

Whenever God has asked me to wait for something, I take that as a time to evaluate – why?

I feel like God has more for me to learn before I’m ready for the next thing. I get so excited about something and start thinking it’s already happening, but looking back I know that if those things had happened in my time, it wouldn’t have been right.

Whenever God has asked me to wait for something, I take that as a time to evaluate – why?

I would start thinking, why am I waiting? Why did I even have these “fevers” to things? Honestly, I learned that sometimes I was having man fever, ring fever, home fever, baby fever, etc. from social pressures. Man. That hit me hard upon that realization.

I gotta say, I wouldn’t even be slightly surprised if social media has something to do with it. However, I think it’s common for us to compare ourselves to others. I’m here to tell you, just stop. We all need to learn this lesson. Every one of our lives is different and we need to be okay with that. This is where prayer is so important.

I have been learning more and more about how prayer is not just about asking for what we want, but it’s about sharing our desires with the Lord and drawing closer to Him so that our desires align with His desires for our life.

I cannot express enough how things in my life didn’t really happen, UNTIL I let them go.

I’m not saying I was perfect in my prayer life, I don’t remember really sacrificing to the Lord and praying about my driver’s license and even other things in my life. However, looking back I wish I had. I would have saved myself so much stress and anxiety. I also likely would have gotten a reality check on what’s truly important, a lot sooner.

As soon as I stopped stressing about finding a partner, I met Lucas. I stopped having ring fever and just lived in the moment with whatever was happening in my life, which at that time was making friends and performing on stage and loving every minute of it. Then, I was in a better place and so was Lucas and it was right for us to get engaged. This has happened so many times.

I cannot express enough how things in my life didn’t really happen, UNTIL I let them go.

The most recent event for me, is my journey toward becoming a mother. Here I was months ago, stressing again! I knew to turn to God, and boy it was a hard time for me, but I am so thankful for how God is bringing me through. You can check out my post on our IVF Journey here.

I am at this place of wait, again. It isn’t a super fun feeling, I am such a go-getter, I like things to move quickly, but God is teaching me to slow down and wait. It is invaluable to learn this, I would move so quickly through my life that I wouldn’t experience any of it.

Because of the pandemic, we actually had to wait even longer than normal to start the IVF journey. This was honestly a blessing, I am so looking forward to being a mother, but because of all my past experiences I want this to happen on God’s time and not mine.

It is hard for me, but I know there’s a reason we are waiting. I need to let go and let God because He knows more than I will ever comprehend. I can’t know how my future children can impact other people’s lives. My children will be a part of others’ lives in their school life and love life and how they affect our lives. There are so many unknowns that only God knows.

I would move so quickly through my life that I wouldn’t experience any of it.

So it is vital that we let go and let God. Not only will we experience things that we might have missed out on during the wait, but God can also provide peace in a way that is completely beyond our understanding. He is there during everything, When our life happens as God has planned it, it will be more than we ever thought it could be.

God has a Plan.

My life verse has always been Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I hold on to this so dearly and we can’t truly believe this promise until we truly let God have the control. He knows what’s in our heart, He wants to hear from us, He has a plan for us.

I honestly still struggle with this and I need to return to the Word and the promises of God and rely on prayer and the prayers of others. I also fight this all the time in my humanness…but WHY?! It is honestly so much easier to let go and to share our struggles with others. That’s how God made us!

God will take care of the situation, He will take care of you, He will bring you peace about whatever it is.

Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Here I am faced with another hard situation, something that hit me all of a sudden, something that might change my life course again. I found myself stressing again in the wait. The minute I opened it up in true prayer by sharing it with other prayer warriors, I instantly felt relief. I really hope this will be your reality if you’re struggling with something too.

I pray that God brings you comfort as you read this and that this can be the light you needed to turn to Him and get the peace that you might be needing to just take things day by day, enjoy the wait, and thank God for the blessings that will absolutely come.